i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
