He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
