I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
