Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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