I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
