Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
