All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
