Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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