Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
