so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
