If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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