Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
