just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
