sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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