Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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