If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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