i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
