and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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