how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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