we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
vagina is talking i cant
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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