In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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