I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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