Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
