come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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