I think I died a long time ago.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I supernannyed him into submission
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
