I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
