Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
