did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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