I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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