just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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