have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
