we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
COCAINE IS GR8
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
