You really coming over, don't trick.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
