I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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