he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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