Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
