haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
