Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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