From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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