I think I died a long time ago.
Say something about gay babies.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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