considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
