I wish I could punch you in the face.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
