So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So much rum. So many feels.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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