i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
