can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
