just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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