the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
