1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
