he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
