I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
